I arrived back in London on a rainy Saturday afternoon. I had no job, but I had some money in my pocket, and a couple of friends to turn to. I also had a bone to pick with Katy, who had knowingly seduced Claire to spite me. I never took things like that lightly. After having dropped off the two suitcases with all my earthly belongings at Liz’s − who was away on a very lucrative business trip that weekend − I paid my dear friend Alex a visit. I had a revenge to plot and he was to be my partner in crime. I would have given an arm and a leg to move back in with him in our old place on Temple Street, but time does not stand still, and Alex, beautiful man-whore that he was, had only gone and found himself a real boyfriend. This was excellent news though, because if Alex, drama queen extraordinaire, could do it, there was hope for me yet. Alex had waved goodbye to Temple Street a couple of months prior to my return and was now shacking up with a well-toned banker named Ben. Alex was completely up to speed with all the drama in my life, but as it turned out, he had left out a tiny new development in his own life.

“Leesbian, I’m so happy you’re back. I’ve missed you terribly.”
“Come on, Alex. You seem to be doing rather well for yourself.”
“I scored the jackpot, that’s for sure. Look at this pretty man. Aren’t you in love with him yet?”
“We just met, but I’m sure if I was to be so inclined I would be all over him already. Nice to meet you, Ben.”
“Listen up, Lee. There is something you should know. I may have withheld some information.”
“Oh please, Alex, I hate it when people say that.”
“You were in Paris, dear. There was no need to bother you with this.”
“Let me have it then. What is it?”
“You know Katy, right? Your ex and Liz’s friend.”
“I only know one Katy and I hold her personally responsible for ruining my relationship with Claire.”
“Come on now, don’t be so harsh. I’m not saying Katy is innocent, but you can hardly blame it all on her.”
“Sure I can. But what are you trying to say?”
“Well, as you already know Katy is a good friend of Liz, but she’s also very close with Ben and as it happens we all kind of travel in the same circles these day.”
“Yeah, and?”
“I know you kind of hate her, but Katy and I are friends now.”
“Good for you.”
“In fact she’s the one who introduced me to Ben.”
“How nice. So I should keep my Katy-bashing to a minimum in your presence? I get it.”
“She’s also temporarily staying with us.”
“What? Why? She’s not here now, is she?”
“No, no, don’t worry. There was a fire in her building. Her place is being redone. It’s going to take a month or so.”
“Oh shit. Is she OK?”
“She’s fine. She lost a lot of her paintings though. She was pretty gutted. I’m not saying this so you will feel sorry for her, but you may run into her more often than you would like to.”
“No, no, I totally understand.”
“Anyway, Leesbian. Now that we’ve got that tidbit out of the way, how about a good old night out on the town?”
“I don’t know, Alex. Can’t we just go for a quiet drink somewhere.”
“A quiet drink? What are you? Fifty? We need to get you some, Lee.”
“What? No, we don’t! Oh Lord, it’s good to know you haven’t changed.”
“Listen to me, Lee. When have I ever been wrong about this? I’m telling you, you need to get laid. There’s a new club in town, it’s just a couple of streets from here. Go put a nice frock on and meet me back here in an hour.”
‘What’s wrong with what I’m wearing now?”
“Oh Lee, do we have to do this every time?”
“I just got back. Cut me some slack, homie.”
“Not when you don’t deserve it, Leesbian.”

To be continued…