“Vivian warned me about you,” Sarah said. “She predicted you would try something.” The shed’s wall suddenly felt very cold against my back. This was not how it was supposed to go. I lowered myself onto the ground and sat down. The sight of meadows would not be enough to soften this blow to my ego.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight. Could you give me a minute, please?” She squatted down beside me.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, Lee. But, just to be clear, I don’t kiss women. I’m married and I’m not gay.”
“I’m glad we got that out of the way.”
“If in the short time we talked I gave you the impression that I was interested, I’m sorry, but that was not my intention.”
“It’s hardly your fault. My brain has a tendency to jump to conclusions.” I finally dared to look at her again. She seemed even more beautiful now. The high-set sun sparkled on her raven black hair.
“I wrote the first bit of my profile piece on you already.”
“Really? When? I was only gone for fifteen minutes.”
“It just came to me.”
“Can I read it?”
“You’re not supposed to hear it until later in the group session, but I can give you a sneak.”
“You don’t have to. I know you have a lot of respect for Vivian’s rules. I accept that.” She reached into her back pocket, reporter style, and dug out her notebook. She looked at it intently for a second and then gave it to me.
“Last page.”
Lee Harlem Robinson is troubled, troubled but beautiful. Her crystal clear blue eyes get a lot done, I’m sure of that, but they do not open up to her soul. She is a master of delusions.
“A master of delusions? Really?”
“It still needs some work.”
“It looks like you’ve already made up your mind about me.”
Sarah rubbed some dirt off the ground beside me and sat down.
“Read the next sentence.”
Her defences are always up and running. At first glance, there hardly seems a way through.
I closed the notebook and handed it back to her.
“This armour, this wall around me, it’s there for a reason.”
“I’m sure it is. You’re not going to read the rest?” She took the book from me and opened it to the last page again. “Love made her−“ I snapped the notebook out of her hands and shook my head.
“Please, I don’t want to hear it now.”
“Would you rather hear it for the first time in front of the group?”
“No. I’d rather have you rewrite it. First drafts usually suck.” I started to get up but she put a hand on my knee.
“Please, stay for a while.” I gave in. Her smile already made me do that. “I’ll tell you a secret.” Her hand stayed on my knee. The midday sun felt very hot all of a sudden. “But you have to give something back.” I nodded. “I want you to give Vivian a fair chance. You have nothing to prove here, nothing to worry about, you are safe. You are away from your day-to-day life. You need to try and let go, just try. Don’t run, don’t try to kiss married women. Give this process a chance.”
“OK.” I looked at her expectantly. “I promise.”
“Good. But obviously I can’t just take your word for it.”
“Did you just trick me?”
“On the contrary. Tonight, if you have properly finished your conversation with Vivian and if you have behaved in the group session, I will tell you.”
“Oh fuck.”
“What?”
“When you say it like that, in that strict headmistress-like kind of way, I want to kiss you again.”
“And none of that anymore, either.”

To be continued…